Saturday, October 17, 2009

The bearable pain of love.

It was a spectacular fall morning, until I answered the phone...

Imagine lazing round in your pj's, sipping coffee, just...chilling before you get going. That is what Saturday mornings are made of, right? Well, I was following the rule book for a classic Saturday. But, that was when the phone rang. My dear friend and aunt, rushing to tell me that my engaged daughter had a great job offer and...and a house for rent "it's small, but soooo cute, perfect for them!" Wait! A job and a what?

She doesn't need a house. Her own house. Her and her husband to be were going to live with us until they had the down payment for a house. They were going to be with us. She was going to live with us for a while yet. I wasn't going to lose her yet. Not yet!

We went with them to see the house. I raved about her new job, which she accepted. I oohed and aahed over the house. It WAS perfect. But inside, although overjoyed, my heart was still breaking. Still screaming, 'she can't leave yet!' But she can.

Now, when the honeymoon is over, she will come home. Not here. To her own home. When she says "I do" in 12 short days, she will leave her dad and I forever. No time to wait for them to save for their own house. Just...gone. Forever.

How does a mom smile and cry at the same time? How can a heart rejoice while it breaks? How can one little thing in life, one invisible, untangible, thing called "LOVE" evoke so much reaction in us humans? And a mother's love? Unimaginably deep.

Yep. My heart is ripped in two at the thought that I won't get to kiss her 'goodnight' anymore. But he will. And he will hold her when she cries. And he will comfort her and love her. And that is what makes her happier than she has ever been.

And her happiness is what makes all of this pain bearable.

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