Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Morning encounters and prune juice.

It wasn't really any one's fault. I was just filling the coffee pot, admiring the sunny morning. Zach, my son-in-law, was just staggering through on his way out to work. In my defense, nobody in our house gets up that early except me.

The little scream I let out as I jumped and tried to cover, was probably nothing to the screams Zach was tearing out silently! Poor thing. He'd never seen these thighs of mine. Married to my daughter two years and blissfully ignorant of the thighs that lurked in our house.

I'm pretty sure he was weeping as he went out the door to work. He'll be alright. Frank wept for the first 5 years we were married. It just made him a man, a rough, burly man. Zach will be fine. Maybe a little therapy...

I'm sitting here drinking coffee, not traumatized in the least. I've dealt with these thighs since...well...a long time. Even when I was young, they weren't thin or pretty. Now--well, let's just say my eyesight isn't that bad and the bathroom lighting is as brutal as a juice and prune diet. I've survived.

There are things way worse than flabby thighs in life. Juice and prune diets for one. Chin hairs. At least I can cover up my thighs (and Zach wishes desperately that I would!). I could wear a bandanna around my chin like the bad guys of the old west, or a veil and a dot on my forehead. I already have the red dot though. Seems like someone told me it was a sign of losing estrogen. Red dots appear in various places. Great! Oh, and don't forget the spider veins.

You know, an artsy person could take a pen and connect the dots and veins and I believe we would have at least four of the Zodiac signs on my thighs and back.

Failing vision, enlarging ears, grey hair...yes, there are things way worse than flabby thighs. Thankfully, my eyes are going bad and I can't see all that's happening to my body. Nice trade off, if you ask me.

So, have a great day today and think of all the things that still look right on your body. Oh--If you would happen to see Zach sitting in a corner with a hammer, mumbling something about Leo or Scorpio, just pat him gently on the head and reassure him. And take the hammer away.

Sharon Raines has two books available: 'Through Mom's Eyes'at and 'I'm still the cuckoo of this clock' You can also check me out on Twitter. Franks1wife

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading your story as always! I will stay young reading them..