Thursday, July 14, 2011

The 'Raise Your Hand' Diet

Diets, diets and more diets. Come on! When will we finally learn they don't work?

Finally there is a diet that will work, though. It is called, 'The Raise Your Hand' diet.

Now sister sufferers, raise your hand if you have ever done "The grapefruit diet'. (Makes my stomach burn just thinking about it).

Raise the other hand if you have ever participated in the Liquid diet. Makes you feel all warm and runny, doesn't it?

Okay, Ladies--both hands in the air if you have ever been wrapped in Saran Wrap from head to toe and left laying like a stick of melting butter on the counter.

Oh, wave those hands ladies if you ever did the Cabbage Diet! (burp, poot!)

Next, give those fingers a little action! Wiggle your digits if you have ever ate the AIDS chocolates (Before the AIDS disease came out).

Okay, lets do the wave y'all! Altogether now if you have ever done Fat Free.

Can I get a 'Haaay'? Haaay

When I say fat, you say 'Low Carb'! Fat! Low-Carb! Fat! Low-Carb!

Wave those hands if you've ever sang in a Weight Watchers meeting! Awh, you know you have now!

I want a chin wave if you've ever did the Diarrhea Diet (also known as the Laxative diet).

Okay, we're sweating it out now, ladies! Whoohoo! Keep moving!

Give me a shout out in the back if you have ever silently cursed Leslie Sansone, argued with Billy Blanks, or (anonymously admit to this one, okay?) sweated to the Oldies with Richard Simmons.

Let me hear you scream if you have ever counted calories, watched your fat intake and exercised daily!

*Chirp, chirp* (Crickets...Pin dropping in the back) * Stunned Looks*

Uh...well...That concludes our workout for today ladies. Don't forget to join in tomorrow for the 'Raise Your Hand' diet.


Anonymous said...

woohoo...I am waving my hands in the air!! You must have been a fly on my wall. =)

Mama 1 said...

I can't wait for tomorrow edition.
(Secretly, Richard Simmons was definitely on my list, I love the Oldies.)

Anonymous said...

pregnancy diet anyone?? you know where you eat healthy and walk alot and still gain??(raises hand!)

Dee said...

I did do the ayds candy a time or 10. But never Richard Simmons...that little twirp :(. Did not sing at Weight Watchers. And you left one out TOPS...take off pounds sensibly) But sista we know where you're coming from. Been there done that! good one Sharon. Cant wait till next time.