Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Toilet learning experiences.

The toilet bowl: Ultimate learning experience in the making.
Never, ever, would this normal housewife pick up a copy of Cabella's, Hunting and Fishing or Motorcycle World. But put me in a strange toilet and all bets are off.
Most of the time, these magazines aren't even a blip on my radar. But, trapped in unfamiliar territory and needing reading material for my...*ahem*...daily constitutional, I grabbed up the nearest magazine from the back of the toilet. Sportsmen's Guide. Okay, well beggars can't be choosers.
Amazing how intent you can get over zero-gravity chairs when the job at hand takes longer than you originally thought. Hey! A moss-covered zip suit (so you can sneak up on your neighbors cookout?) or a camo blind, which I think would double nicely as a tent. And those chairs that you mount in a tree...come on! Cup holders? Really? All you need to complete the set is a remote control to that portable DVD player and a peg to hold your cooler full of cold ones. A man could go in the woods and stay for...
Hey! What's that number? And where's my credit card?

The other reading option was a baby magazine. Strollers, the new 'Udder Cover' (would never buy it just because they refer to my various body parts as 'udders'!) and 'how to get your pre-baby body back'. My body left after the first child and I still haven't seen it. Exercise after childbirth? Are you kidding me? Isn't the birth experience bad enough? I throw that magazine back on the pile. I'm not desperate enough to read such trash as that.

Ahhh...Cabella's. Maybe I will take my post-baby body and go camping. Take one of those zero-gravity hammocks and a water-mist personal fan and hike out to the forest. Maybe go find my long-lost hunter husband who took the portable DVD player and remote with him about a week ago...

Finally! Done with my doo-ty. Time to get out of this class room and back to reality. The reality that I don't like Udder Covers or camo blinds or heat or air mattresses that leak out the air while you sleep, or jogging strollers, or ...

Bathrooms that don't have my kind of reading materials in them :)

Sharon Raines has two books available: 'Through Mom's Eyes'at http://www.publishamerica.net/product27236.html and 'I'm still the cuckoo of this clock' http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/sharonraines You can also check me out on Twitter. http://twitter.com/ Franks1wife

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